Dear Nolan... You're ONE Month Old

My handsome, sweet, beautiful little man...

A month old already.  I can't believe I have had a SON for a month.  My goodness, you have brought so much love into our home, and I have absolutely loved getting to know you better during this last month.  You are so darn cute, your chubby cheeks and curious blue eyes make me want to melt and I am consistently having to remind myself that you are mine.  

I am loving having a newborn again.  One of my favorite things in the whole world is the way you smell - I wish I could bottle it up.  I keep going over and over the day you were born in my mind.  It was such a beautiful day, you came into the world quickly and holding your tiny warm body for the first time immediately filled my soul with an indescribable love.  

We brought you home on December 30th and Dada and Pops gave you your first bath on December 31st.  We learned quickly the big difference between a boy and girl baby - you peed before your bath and it shot up and got all over daddy's shirt.  We laughed so hard!  It was so sweet to watch the most important guys in my life bathe my little boy for the first time.  You also pooped in the tub, which you have done quite a few times since.  You love your bath time and like the water nice and warm... it always relaxes you.

You started out wearing newborn diapers and clothes, but by about 2.5 to 3 weeks old, you were too big and I had to switch you into the 3 month sized clothes and the size 1 diapers.  I can't believe what a big boy you are... you are healthy, and perfect!  At your first doctor's appointment on December 31st, you were 7 pounds, 10 ounces... but I think you've gained quite a bit since then.

You aren't the best sleeper at night.  I am still trying to figure out exactly how to make you comfortable.  You go mostly in 2-3 hour stretches, but sometimes you are up between feedings.  You don't cry a lot, but you want to be held and snuggled when you are up.  Some nights, you have a "witching" hour where you are fussy, but I don't mind getting to snuggle and love on you when you're fussy.  You usually always calm down when we hold you and walk around so you can see more of the world. Overall, you are a calm and mellow baby so far. 

You are quite alert and were from the moment you were born.  You have the most beautiful, round blue eyes.  I love it when we make eye contact.  I can't wait to see your first smile.  I love when you and I have moments for just us two so I can talk to you and really connect with you.  

You are so good at getting your diaper changed and don't seem to mind it.  You also seem to like the car, but you do notice when we stop moving.  As long as we are driving and in motion, you have been doing great in your car seat.  

We have tried to keep you home as much as possible to keep you healthy.  There is a measles outbreak right now, so I have a heightened sense of wanting to keep you healthy - and unfortunately, you won't be able to get vaccinated for that until you're much older.  But, I will feel much better after you get those shots when you're 2 months old.  

Your big sister, Andie, absolutely adores you.  She gives you kisses often and the first thing she does when she wakes up in the morning is starting saying "where's baby?", "hello, baby!", and "I love baby!".  You have no idea just how much you are loved already... not only by her, but so many people we are fortunate to have in our lives.  You have had quite a few visitors and we have loved sharing you with family and friends.

I love our time when I am breastfeeding you.  You have been a good eater and latched on right after you were born at the hospital, and I am so grateful for that.  You took your first bottle at 2 weeks for Gramz while I was getting my hair done.  She was in the car with you right outside... I can't stand to be away from you for too long yet.  You have had somewhat of a stuffy nose, which has made it a little more complicated for you to eat and sleep sometimes... but you are such a good boy when we have to suction you to help.

We call you "shiver lips" sometimes because your little lips will shiver when you are cold - or sometimes even when you are all wrapped up in blankets.  You are a bit 'rooter' when you're hungry - and we will say you're 'rootin', tootin' nolan!"  We also have experienced quite a few blow outs with you... you have some big toots and have needed several outfit changes because you blow out. :)

I am so grateful for my time with you.  You are very special to me and I am so happy and proud to be your mom.  I feel privileged that I get to watch your grow and develop and I am soaking up these moments with my tiny little boy because I know they will pass much too quickly.  Your daddy and I have had several conversations about how cute you are and what a sweet little guy you are.  We can't believe how lucky we are to have TWO beautiful and healthy kids... including a son!  I am excited to see how our relationship flourishes and grows in the coming months and years.  I look forward to having a very special bond with you.  I will always be here for you... to support you and love you unconditionally.  I love you so much, Nolan... I hope you never doubt or underestimate my love for you.  

Love,

Your mama

Meeting your cousins for the first time on January 2nd.  (Stella, Adam, Andie, and Ryan)

Your first bath with daddy and pops!

 I love you, Nolan!

Nolan's Airplane/Travel Themed Nursery

I am definitely not an interior decorator, but my favorite projects in our house have been decorating our kid's nurseries (and Andie's big girl room - I will share that soon!).  For Nolan's nursery, I wanted to do something boy-ish and along the theme of airplanes.  I also didn't want it to look too baby-ish because I know most of the decor will stay with him for a long time.  My dad is a pilot of a small airplane and I grew up flying with him, so when I see airplanes, I can't help but think of him.

The furniture & shelving in the nursery is handed down from Andie's nursery with the exception of the crib, bookshelf, and curtains.  Her bookshelf was pretty girlie, and she still loves her crib and wasn't ready to transition into a toddler bed, so we decided to get another crib.  Please excuse some of my empty picture frames... we are still deciding on the pictures to go inside of them. :)

Furniture:

Crib: Skylar Fixed Gate Crib

Dresser/Changing Table: Larkin Hi-lo Changing Table 

Bookcase: Vintage Wood Crate Tall Bookcase 

Rocking Chair & Ottoman: Wingback Convertible Rocker & Ottoman 

Side Table for nursery chair: Sleigh Side Table 

Window Coverings:

Rod & Finials: Estate Crystal Ball Finial on Oil-Rubbed Bronze 

Curtains: Madras Blackout Panels 

White Sheer Accent Curtain: Voile Pole Pocket Drape 

Bookcase Decor:

Baskets: Navy Striped Canvas Storage Buckets 

Decor is from Home Goods, Marshalls, and gifts from family & friends

Wall Shelves & Decor:

White Shelves: Crown Molding Ledge (these were a wedding gift to us!)

Industrial Wire Cubby Jet Shelf 

Vintage Airplane Framed Set  gift from my mom from Pottery Barn Kids

Vintage Model Airplane 

All of the decor on the shelves is from Home Goods, Marshalls, Michaels or gifts from family & friends.

The soft airplane rocker is from gilt.

Paint: Behr from Home Depot, color: Silver Sateen

We still have a few loose ends to tie up, but it will probably never be completely done :)

Postpartum thoughts as a mama of 2

I've sat down to write this post at least 8 times... each time, my attention diverted away after just a few minutes.  A hungry baby, a determined toddler climbing on something she shouldn't, a text message or phone call... it's amazing how much a second little person under your care comes in and changes your world.

Please don't judge me by the spit up on my shirt, my messy bun, or these pants I am wearing for the 3rd day in a row (they're so comfortable, thanks mom).  My house seems to be a mess, no matter how many times a day I re-organize the disney figurines and clean up baby dolls.  A porta crib has taken new residence in our family room to keep my curious little girl from smothering her baby brother when he is not in our arms (we're still working on "gentle").  My dining room table is stacking up with a list of 'thank you' cards to write and the seemingly endless list of things I need to do for my precious new addition's baby book.  Sweet Andie has watched more Mickey Mouse Clubhouse than I care to disclose in the last 10 days.  This beautiful baby boy still has his days and nights mixed up, so in the 4 hours we were awake last night, I was stressed about having the energy to make it through the day being the best mama I can possibly be.  There is guilt... lots of it... as I try to maintain the focus and love on my sweet toddler and not lose my patience when she acts out.

But, if you could see inside my heart - inside my spirit - you would see a consuming love blossoming as I digest this beautiful new life I am so blessed to live as a mother of two.  You would see my anxiety of time passing as I try to enjoy these precious moments with a newborn because I know too well how quickly this stage of his life will pass. You would see the genuine admiration I have for my husband as I have watched him gracefully embrace this new role of having a son.  You would see my postpartum weepies get the best of me when I cry after hearing Andie say "I love baby", "oh no, baby" and rock her dolls.  Most of all, you would see the gratitude I feel every single day.  I know I will look back on this time of my life, some of it probably being somewhat of a blur... and wish to have just one more day with my little babies.  I know there will be many times in the coming years where I will question my abilities as a mother, but I also know deep down I am meant to be their mom... this is more fulfilling than I ever imagined.  They have filled a very special part of my heart.

Many people have asked me how Andie is adjusting to being a big sister.  I am not sure she really quite understands what it means or how permanent it is.  She's had her good and bad moments since we brought him home from the hospital - but in the moments where she kisses his head and wants to love on him, I know in my heart that she is going to take this roll as a big sister and love it.  He has lots to look forward to, I am sure she will toughen him up in no time.

And, just as I did when I had my first baby... these life changes have made me realize just how lucky I am to have the family I do.  My parents are nothing short of amazing.  They have always gone above and beyond to support, encourage, love, and provide for my sisters and me.  When we were in the hospital having Nolan (and now in the weeks following), they were right next to us the entire way - caring for Andie, playing with Andie, singing with Andie, cuddling Andie, grocery shopping, cleaning the house, taking pictures, doing laundry, and most importantly, loving us... showing an interest and making sure we have everything we could possibly need, and more.  The day they left after we got home from the hospital, TL came inside and looked at me and said "your parents are life savers."  And it's true.  No amount of words could truly express the appreciation we have for them, I just hope to pass forward their love to our children and live life using their example as my guide.

Now I am off to breathe in more of that newborn scent, admire his miniature cleft chin that I know he got from me and be amazed by everything this bouncy 19 month old little girl is learning everyday.  I may have a cluttered house, a pile of laundry, and haven't run a brush through my hair in days... but I am so proud to be their mom.

{admiring my son, just a few minutes after his first breath}

My mom and dad (Gramz & Pops)