Thursday, July 31, 2014
Thankful Thursday and thoughts on Baby #2
We are so darn excited for baby #2, and even though I am already almost 17 weeks pregnant, it still doesn't feel real. (Even though we have seen him lots of times on ultrasounds!) A lot of people have asked how close Andie and baby boy will be... they'll be about 20 months apart, so very close! I realize our life is going to get quite chaotic with TWO children under two, in diapers, and closely needing our attention. But regardless of this expected chaos, I will be very grateful for this huge blessing - to be a mom to TWO children, and family of 4.
With Andie, we tried for nearly 18 months before getting pregnant. She was a big surprise when we finally did, and we were so thrilled. TL and I talked a lot about when we wanted to start 'trying' for number two, and started keeping track of everything shortly after Andie turned 6 months old. We figured, why not!? Life is an adventure, and if it were to take us a little time and we needed to get fertility help, at least we wouldn't look back and wish we started sooner. Well, that was not the case, obviously, because within about 5 months of paying attention, I got that positive pregnancy test. I came out of the bathroom after secretly taking the test and just looked at TL, I didn't have to say a word and he started screaming with joy... then immediately telling Andie she was going to be a big sister. It's such a special memory.
A few days after finding out about this baby, I also had a few feelings I wasn't expecting. I was still happy, but I found myself feeling a little guilty. I would stare at this beautiful baby girl of mine and think - oh my gosh, is baby number 2 going to interfere with my relationship with her? Is it possible for me to even come close to loving another child this much? And then when we found out it was a BOY, my mind raced with a few more fears - how will I do with a boy? Is it going to be something entirely foreign and new for me?
I realize all of these thoughts are probably normal, and I would never want to come across as ungrateful, we are SO grateful for this huge blessing. I think no matter the age difference between kids, that fear of the unknown can be present. After talking to my mom and some others, I have heard it is very common for mom's to feel nervous about loving another child.
At my 12 week check up, the doctor did an ultrasound and I saw this fully formed little baby floating around, moving, and waving little hands in my belly. And there is was... that spark I was needing to remind me I CAN love another tiny human being like I love the little one who is here already. After about 14 weeks, the morning sickness and vomiting subsided... and as I have started feeling more like myself, I am getting more and more used to the idea of having a little guy running around here.
I'm certain our lives are about to change BIG time when this baby debuts in our lives this January. It will be crazy, messy, loud, and I am sure a little sleepless. . . but I still don't know how I got so lucky to have this opportunity, and I will never take it for granted. Thank goodness I married a great man who loves being a daddy and is so thrilled for this next baby and to grow our family. He is so supportive and takes his role as dada very seriously (well, sort of, he is a huge kid at heart). I could cry thinking about what a good dad he is!
I am so thankful for all of the support, love, congratulations, and excitement we have been given in these last few days as our family and friends have learned about this baby. We truly feel overwhelmed with gratitude. Thank you!