Monday, May 20, 2013

One Week Postpartum Thoughts


It's hard for me to fathom that just over a week ago today, I was pregnant.  I still had this sweet girl living in my belly.  I was anxious and excited to see her face for the first time.
In some ways, I miss feeling her in my belly - the movements, kicks, and life developing inside. But the joy of her being here is unlike anything I have ever experienced.  It's truly a miracle, and when I look at her - my whole body is filled with love.

We've had a very busy week.  The poor girl was slightly jaundiced, so we were back to the doctors office for the awful poke-her-in-the-foot-until-she-bleeds-a-ton blood tests.  Thankfully, the levels dropped below the 'high risk' category on Friday, so we didn't have to go back this weekend.  

We've also seen several sweet visitors.  Andie has met many of our friends and family members.  We love sharing her with others - we will always remember the strong support we've received from so many special people in our lives.  Our neighbor, Carol, has cooked us lots of sweet desserts and a delicious homemade meal that TL and I devoured.  Having her next door has been amazing!

What's been the best part of the week?  
Holding her, staring at her, singing to her, reading to her.  Seeing my husband be a daddy.  I use the word "blissful" to describe my feelings about her first week home with us.  I never understood that love could make me feel this way.  Sometimes we lay her in between us and just stare at her and kiss her little hands and feet.  We've also been known to "fight" over who gets to hold her :)

What's been the hardest part of the week?  
+ I have had a couple moments where I have broken down crying... my hormones have made me a little more sensitive than usual (I am already sensitive) and the overwhelming thought of how quickly time passes has really been hard for me.  Even if I just think about it, my eyes fill with tears.  I want her to stay little so I can enjoy her and remember every detail of her.  I was pumping and crying {multitasking} and TL sat with me and reminded me that each stage of her life will have something special.  She had one night where she didn't want to go back to sleep and even though she was fussy and I was sleepy - I was happy as I reminded myself that I would someday want this time back.

+ I have been sore and had trouble getting an appetite.  I know I need to eat well so I can make some healthy milk for her, but it's been tough getting my system regulated since her birth.

+ Because she's a peanut {she dropped to 5 pounds 10oz at the hospital} I have had lots of worry about her eating enough.  I just want her to be healthy and have enough... luckily, when we met with the lactation consultant, I was relieved to hear that she gets enough milk - even though she may only eat for 5 minutes.  But the worry is always in the back of my mind.  I don't think "worrying" about her is going to go away.  Ever.  I think it's just part of my life now.

Memories that stand out...  
+ Andie has a "Milk Dance" {with help from her dad} where she throws her hands in the air and moves them and sings "I want milk... give me my milk... I need milk".  It's very amusing and funny at 3am.  Or anytime, actually.  
+ we've seen lots of smiles (probably gas, but we'll take them) and realized she has dimples while we were in the hospital.
+ my dad and TL gave her the first bath on her first night home from the hospital.  It was special for me to watch because my dad loves babies and I know it was something I will remember forever.
+ we went on our first road trip to my sisters house - she lives about an hour and a half away - for her baby shower (YES, my sister is pregnant with a baby girl... due in August, YAY!).  TL came along so he could stay with her while I went to the shower for a little while.  On our way home, she got hungry - so we pulled over into an almond orchard to feed her.  We both giggled when we thought of where we were and what we were doing.  Oh, how life has changed.  And we wouldn't trade it for anything.
+ we tried giving her a paci for the first time on Sunday.  Every time we would stick it in there, she would spit it out.  Finally she took it for a few seconds and while she was sucking on it, she was looking around, probably thinking "what the heck is this!?"
+ TL has been incredible.  I expected he would be, but you never know until the time comes.  He's up with us every night.  Helped me get adjusted to bre*stfeeding, sat with me, changed all the diapers, and most importantly - his love for her is unlike anything.  He is in awe of her.  He's also been so good to me - reminding me how much he loves me and encouraging me every day.
+ one of my favorite memories from this week was seeing TL read her first book to her.  It's the "I'll love you forever" book.  He started crying after reading the first two pages.  And by the 3rd page, we were both in a full blown cry while he read to her.  We decided it was best to close that one up and leave it on the shelf for a little while.  Since then, she's been enjoying some Dr. Seuss and more light reads.

All about Andie:  
She's been a very mellow baby which we hear is to be expected because she is so new.  She loves to look around when she is awake, and even though we know she can't see well, she scans the room and takes in what she can when we hold her.  The first few days, she hardly cried.  I actually asked the doctor if that was normal.  Now, she is finally starting to get more vocal.  She makes little noises and finally - she is letting us know when she is hungry.  For most of the first week, we had to get her naked, tickle her feet, and change her diaper to wake her up to feed her.  She makes lots of little noises, yawns, sneezes, and gets the hiccups at least a couple times a day.  She can lift her own head to look around and loves to sleep on top of us.

I try not to think about the future at all right now.  I just want to enjoy the present.  TL and I are both fortunate to have some time with her away from work for a few weeks.  We're still getting to know her, develop a little schedule, and even though I didn't realize it was possible, I am falling more and more in love with her every day.

Chubby cheeks - just like mom and dad when we were born.
Introducing our furbabies to Andie.  They've done pretty well!
Sleeping with daddy.
 First doctor's appointment.

I have sat down and started her little birth story.  I will share soon, mainly so I can remember the details forever. We also have some sweet pictures that I am very excited to share :)

Thank you to ALL of you who have commented on my posts, pictures, instagram, facebook, etc.  I haven't taken time to respond, but please know that I read them all and each one of them brings me so much happiness.  Your support and excitement means so much to us!

I hope you have a wonderful week! 

40 comments:

Kaleigh said...

Isn't the prick in the foot just the worst. I was like "how much blood do you need?"

She's precious

Nicole Marie said...

so out of this world happy for you guys. she is seriously the cutest thing ever. and i can't believe how alert she is for being so little and early!
you guys are already such incredible parents and i cant wait to meet her!

Shelley said...

This brought tears to my eyes. This is such a precious stage and I'm so glad you are soaking it up and really taking full advantage of it since it does go so quickly. She is beautiful!! And hello, skinny minnie!! How do you look that small already? lol

Smiling is Good for Your Teeth said...

She is a doll! What a sweet little baby you have and you both look healthy and amazing!!

Romantic Savy said...

She is just precious! I just had my baby girl almost two weeks ago and can relate to a lot in this post. I don't want time to go to fast. She is so precious and I just want to bottle this up so I never forget it! :)

Jodi said...

Andie is such a beautiful baby. So happy for you. I hope things continue to go well for you all. Rest when you can and make sure you eat!!!! You look great and very happy.

Michelle @ The Vintage Apple said...

SHE IS GORGEOUS!!!!!!! Congrats again friend!!!! You are an amazing mommy!!! If you need anything I'm just an email away :)

Angelina Medina said...

She is just the sweetest little thing! If you're not hungry, make sure you're drinking water! That will help with the milk :)

Lauren said...

so glad to hear that you are enjoying motherhood already!

Elyse was 5 lb 10 oz when we left the hospital as well so I completely understand the worry of "is she getting enough!" While she never got super chunky, you could definitely tell she was growing and getting PLENTY of momma's milk!

Congrats girl, drink it all in as much as you can...you'll hear it a thousand times, but they grow and change so quickly!

Kara said...

She is SUCH a doll! So happy for your beautiful family! And just so you know.. Hayleigh is 5 and I still can't read "I'll Love you Forever" without bawling by page 2. Jon can't either! His mom gave him that book the day we got married and the girls look at me like mama has lost her mind when I have tried to read it.

Jamie @ jforjamie.com said...

So so so amazing!! I'm in tears reading all this. You and your family are truly beautiful and I am SO happy for you. Hope to see you and meet Andie very soon!

Cara said...

So glad to hear that you all are doing well. I love all of that blonde hair and the dimples!

"B" said...

Aww. She is precious. My sweet girl is turning ONE in just a few days and this brings me back (seems like yesterday). Isnt loving your daughter amazing?!?! I never knew I could love so hard. I am so happy you are having the same feelings. Enjoy every second, time goes too fast...but know this, your love expands every single day. It is the best feeling to be a mother!

Natasha said...

motherhood suits you my dear...i am SO happy things are going so well for you and your gorgeous family

this is what life is all about and you have opened your new role with open arms...all of us should be so lucky!!

keep it up sweetie!! you're doing great

Allison Boutwell said...

She is SO beautiful and you LOOK amazing! :)

I remember after D was born I would just cry and cry and cry because I didn't want him to get any bigger. It's so hard, but your husband is right every stage is amazing and wonderful and you just wish you could bottle them up and keep them small.

You're a great momma and doing a great job. I'm sure you have tons of support, but you can always ask if you have any questions. :)

Erin Reissig said...

She is adorable!! I love baby dimples, and hers are the best! Side note... YOU LOOK AMAZING!

Carolyn said...

Those dimples! She is absolutely precious! :) I'm so glad your first week has been so amazing! Can't wait for the birth story!

Not So Newlyweds said...

She is adorable! So glad to hear everything is going well. You are looking fabulous already!!

Lizzy said...

You look AMAZING for just having a baby a week ago!!!

Andie is adorable!!! It's difficult at first, but the many sleepless nights, bodily fluids everywhere, anything that comes with a baby is worth it every day!!

Allison said...

Beautiful baby girl! & you look great! Congratulations again!!

Ashley @ Words About Waverly said...

She is such a beauty!!! Enjoy every minute - I promise it gets better & better!!!

Adrienne Gomer said...

This is so sweet! She is absolutely perfect! I remember having all of those same exact emotions at that stage. Every day is such a gift and even over four years later I feel the same way about both of my kids. You are so lucky and it's amazing that you are cherishing it all while you can.

Claire Kiefer said...

Oh Tracy, she is so beautiful! What a pretty little baby! Keep the pictures coming! :)

Megan said...

You look amazing :) She is BEAUTIFUL! I didn't have my appetite back for 2 weeks. I was told it's very normal! My little one was 5lb 1oz at birth and got down to 4lb 6oz (she was 7 weeks early). She's now almost 9 months and about 16lbs. They do grow up so fast!!! If you ever want to chat babies (or anything else) send me an email :)

Jane {In the Pink and Green} said...

Oh my goodness, this post made me tear up! Andie is so lucky to have such wonderful parents that love her so much! She is so precious, and I think it's so great that you're writing down all these moments to look back on one day! :)

Krista said...

She is so adorable! Can't wait to hear the birth story :)

Caley-Jade Rosenberg said...

Such a special post written by a true mama. You are all doing so well Trac, I am so proud of you both! Little Andie is just too precious and sounds like you are coping so well - the hormones and tears are natural, and all for good reason. Thinking of you special mama x

Shannon Dew said...

Could she be any cuter?! The answer is no, no she could not!

KRISTIN said...

She is so stinkin' cute! Makes me really miss those early early days, but I can promise you that even though you want her to stay little forever each stage is more fun than the last! So glad you guys are doing great!!!

Joeylee said...

You look awesome for just having a baby. Andie is the cutest!

Nicole-Lynn said...

I loved reading this! How precious is Andie! I am so happy for you, friend! She seems like such a sweet, mellow baby. I cried reading how your hubby read a book to her and started tearing up (my pregnacy hormones are crazy right now! haha)

Can't wait to hear more... and see more pictures of your precious girl, too!

Casey Martin said...

Congratulations!!!!! So happy for you guys!

Allison said...

I have no other words besides "awwwe!" You look amazing, first of all. I love and respect your honesty in your emotions, but it's too sweet (though not surprising) that Tim is with you every step to cheer you up.
I cannot get over how beautiful Andie is - I am beyond elated for you two and your gorgeous family!

Amy said...

She's beautiful and you look AMAZING! Congrats on your sweet baby girl!

CMae said...

So well written. Loved reading this Tracy! She's beautiful! And you got some great pictures with her eyes OPEN!!! :) I was wondering how Zeus and Maximus were doing! Glad they are liking their human sister! :)

Angie said...

She is the sweetest! Definitely a true blessing from God. Cherish every single second of these days as they do go by quickly but remember that all the days and stages ahead will also hold a very special place in your heart.

Candace said...

She is beautiful. It is such a crazy / wonderful time right now! You are doing great mama!!!

ESB said...

Oh, she is so pretty! I cried and cried for weeks with my newborn just mourning every moment that had passed. Fortunately, that stage was one I was happy to get through once my hormones balanced out. :)

[darci @ the good life] said...

I absolutely loved reading this. It was like a flash back to my life almost 2 years ago. Precious, treasured days and moments. It sounds like you are doing everything JUST RIGHT! If only we could freeze time!

Get ready momma, it just keeps getting better!! xo! Happy Memorial Day weekend!

-Darci

lori said...

So, so very sweet!! And you look amazing, mama!!!