about happiness.

Last night, I was having one of those nights where you lay in bed, toss, turn, open your eyes, close 'em, and sigh. repeat.

My mind was in full gear.  I was thinking about happiness.  It's such a sensitive thing.  We hear all the time that we create our own, we choose it, and often that karma can bring it.
Happiness can be an easy thing to pretend.  Like when you're a little girl and you dress up in high heeled shoes, a pretty dress, and a tiara - you actually think you're a princess.  Our imagination is priceless.

Now, we have the internet.  Our profile on facebook, our small box to write 'about me' on our blog, a full blog post with all of the whimsical things we think to write, and 140 characters to write whatever tweet we want.  We choose what to write, and regardless of whether or not it's completely true, we tend to have some belief that it is.

I'm not saying it's bad to pretend.  Writing a blog about the things we are thankful for after having the worst day is not a bad thing - it's redirecting our attention to the things in life that make us happy.
We also choose what to share about ourselves in the crazy web world.  It's scary - you really never know who is reading your blog.  A relative, an old friend, a coworker, a crazy ex boyfriend.  I appreciate the honesty of a lot of writers out there, and I also appreciate the people who choose to just write about things they love.  That's what's so great about blogging.  We can write & be perceived as whatever the heck we want.  I like that.

Last night I was thinking about my happiness.  You know, the real, feel it inside and your heart feels warm happiness.  I share most of that happiness on this blog.  My life is no where close to perfect, but when I focus on these things - I notice myself feeling happier.

But occasionally, like last night, I have to step away from my everyday things in life and think.  I have to think about whether I am pretending or if I really am living a life that makes me happy.

And I realized, compliant to what we often hear & what my mom told us growing up, happiness is often a choice.   We have the choice to control the things that are controllable in our life.  We can't control the people around us, we can't control the weather, the job market, a family members health... we can't control a lot of things.  In fact, we can't control most things.

But, we can control how we choose to look at the things we can't control.  We control how much we exercise & what we eat affecting our own self image, we control our attitude affecting our friendships.  We control how much we say or don't say, affecting the communication in our relationships.  We control our work ethic and its use in our jobs.

We control a measurable amount of things in our own life, and I think if we focus on the things we can control rather than the things we can't, then maybe we will feel we are doing the best we can.

So, that's what I am striving for.  To focus more on the things I can control rather than the things I can't.

I say strive because I think this control is a hard thing.  It's hard to know you have this control and it's not always easy to know how to use it.  And I think that's okay - life isn't always going to be rosey posey.  It could be a lot about balance.

I have always been a 'majority of the time' happy girl.  I choose to be bubbly by nature, usually optimistic, and with a smile 95% of the time.  I know it drives some people nuts.  And I am okay with that - it's not within their control.

I've also noticed that when I feel happy - truly happy - I take a second to look around and recognize that happiness.

I just want to give a 'shout out' to the great readers and writers I have met in this blogging world.  Thank you for your honesty, advice, and following along with what I write about my life.  I see blogging just like having pen pals from all over the world...  It's a cool thing!

{I know I said the words happy & control a lot in this post.  I'm not the best writer.  If you read along, thanks.  If you agree or disagree, thanks either way.  I'm just lucky I was able to write about it.}

Hope you had a wonderful weekend full of things that make you happy ;)

TL with the pups on our walk yesterday.

{my happy}