Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Ban Divorce??




A man in Sacramento has created the "2010 Marriage Protection Act" that would make it so people in California are unable to get divorced.  Some say this stems off of Prop 8 - which was the decision whether or not to allow gay couples to get married.  Some prop 8 supporters said that allowing Gay couples to get married would ruin traditional marriage.  He says that banning divorce is the way to save traditional marriage.  
What do you think?  
Should divorce be banned??  
Just wondering what it makes you think... 

You can read more about the story here.
pic found here

33 comments:

The New Black said...

Pure craziness

missy. said...

hmm interesting. not sure what i think about that?

~KS said...

This topic very much interests me since I plan to practice family law in a year...
And no. I don't think divorce should be banned, but I don't think it would be all that bad to go back to a system of fault-based divorce. I think no-fault divorce makes it much easier to walk away from a marriage, but then again, as a society, we've moved from an organice view of the family and its purpose to a more autonomous model, which encourages individual happiness, which is in line with no-fault divorce laws. I would like to say you could add into the law requirements for a trial separation period, or required counseling (which some states, like mine, do when there are minor children involved)... but for people who have really made up their minds, they would just go through the motions so I'm not sure how much it would really accomplish.

bananas. said...

oh KS...i love her legal response. well said, my friend.

i think it's definitely extreme to BAN DIVORCE. like really? whoa. but i do see his point. seems like people take the easy way out and marry to divorce. i on the other hand hope to never have to deal with that but still it shouldn't be banned.

Patience said...

It is such a hot topic for so many people. I would have to say no because there are certain situations where divorces are warranted and what gives the person the right to tell me I can't dissolve my marriage. Crazy!

...::Mrs. Southern Bride::... said...

Oh wow...I would say no, it should not be banned. However, I wish the laws would deal more strictly. It's too easy these days for people to simply walk away. I tend to lean towards having to go through a set of counseling before allowing divorce to take place, etc.

Cathi said...

Being a divorced person myself, and for very good reasons - I am definitely not in agreement with this Divorce Ban...pure craziness indeed!

Summer @ B is for Brown said...

this is nutty.

Tamela said...

wow that sure is an interesting topic. I think that if divorce is banned it would infringe on our rights as Americans and living in this so called "free" country. I think that some people are better off being divorced then sticking it out. It makes for a miserable situation for their family. I for one hope to never have to get a divorce.

Melissa said...

This whole act harkens back to Prop 8 completely. It has nothing to do with being against divorce, but how hypocritical the arguments against gay marriage are. Prop 8 was essentially set in place under the guise that gay marriage would weaken the bonds of marriage, and go against the sacred bond that's created. Doesn't divorce do the same thing? Doesn't breaking those bonds completely go against the values of marriage even more so than letting two same-sex people who love each other share in that union? Yet no one bat's an eyelash at divorce.

This will never be passed. It's more of a way to make a point, and throw the system back into the faces of homophobic people who hide behind the "marriage is a sacred union" excuse.

I love it!

Heather @ Alis Grave Nil said...

I can't see divorce ending entireley--it's a contract and there are assets and children and property involved and legally there has to be a way out of it. We're too imperfect to be able to know if we're going to be able to keep our word, even if we think we mean it when we start. People change and it's not always possible to stay in it, even if you want to.

As somebody whose marriage almost ended, I DO agree that our society's view of marriage is too "disposable," but I don't know that this would work to keep it from being so. I think marriage is going to mean whatever it means to the people that enter into it. I'm also not clear about the relationship of this proposition to Gay marriage. Wouldn't it just mean people were locked into marriages they didn't want, regardless of what kind of marriage it was?--I mean, if Gay marriage was eventually legalized. This is a lot of "what if?" Honestly, all the Prop 8 stuff gives me a headache.

I do think that if our view of marriage changed to be more respectful of the seriousness of the institution, it would be a good thing. I just don't know that ANY amount of legislation from the state--for or against whatever--is going to change people's hearts and minds when it comes to forming relationships. It's messy business and hard to legislate.

I wish in our society there was more effort and concentration put into teaching healthy relationships--whatever that means--and less into the pressure of a "perfect" wedding day. We seem to have it a little off. But that's just me.

casey aubut said...

I have an award for you at my blog!

http://aubutfamily.blogspot.com/2009/10/awwwi-got-some-awards-thank-you-thank.html
Cassandra Aubut

Kris said...

good grief. I can't take this nonsense anymore!!!! Things like this make me not want to get married at all and just have a Susan Saradon/TIm Robbins affair. Seems much more loving these days. Isn't that what it should be about?

Carol said...

I heard about this! I didn't realize it was in CA though.

KLaw said...

Unbelievable. This is absolutely ridiculous.

Jules said...

My husband and I were actually talking about this the other day. I feel like that's pretty extreme... but on the other hand I wonder if that makes me jaded and another one of the millions that take marriage so lightly. My dad would say yes, ban it. He believes marriage is a forever commitment and you don't say "I promise to love honor and cherish you until I get sick of it or something better comes along or you turn out to be a lemon." It is until "death do us part". And that's what I've had drilled into my head my whole life. So It's hard to shake that notion. But I just think some situations are totally justified- cheating, abuse. I do think something like this would encourage people to take it more serious and not enter into marriage so quickly or lightly. It almost seems like marriage (and subsequently divorce) is more about "keeping up with the Joneses" these days rather than love and commitment.

So basically I said all that to say this... I don't know. Haha Good thinker though!

Nicole Leigh said...

If you can make a law making it illegal for gays to marry because it protects the sanctity of marriage then Yes, ban divorce because that is based on the same principle, protecting the sanctity of marriage.

Allison said...

I don't know if banning divorce would do much good. I definitely don't think it would make people more moral if that's what they are gearing it toward. Perhaps less ppl would get married if they banned divorce, and I definitely don't think that ppl should be scared to marry.

Kara said...

Wow... I hadn't heard about this. I most definitely do not think divorce should be band. If they are going to ban divorce, they might as well enact arranged marriages! While I feel like divorce should be the VERY last resort, if there is unescapable abuse or cheating or problems that make it impossible to remain living together, divorce should be an option. You can't always control if people are going to change, and change for the worse. I feel like by banning divorce, our civil liberties and our right to chose will be in jepoardy.

Across the Pond said...

My boyfriend is a former divorce and when you are in a relationship when someone is doing something that is tearing your trust and relationship apart then I think that it is sometimes necessary to divorce!
I don't ever want to get divorced, and I know Jeff and I won't, but I think that it should still be and option... I also agree with ~KS, I think that a divorce is so easy, there should be more backbone to the steps for getting divorced so more people think about it before they GET married.

erin said...

this act was created to take the utter absurdity of the "protect the tradition of marriage" argument.

i think it's hilarious.

Heather said...

That's crazy, if you ask me. It would be the equivalent of arranged marriages on the flip side.

While I am in favor of people making every effort to save their marriage I do think there should always be a way out, and the government shouldn't tell you otherwise.

Kelly said...

dang...this is extreme...

there are so many factors to consider...

trac, way to go on the thought provoking postings!! loving them :)

Alison said...

Wow that's a little extreme!

OceanDreams said...

Wow that is crazy and even though I don't support divorce I think for those people who get stuck in a unhealthy or abusive marriage, they need a way to start fresh and get out. This would not allow them to do so, therefore I have to be against it. By the way darlin, thanks for your comment on my Haunt post, I am glad that we have that in common too. I hope you are enjoying your week! XO!

tricia said...

It is absurd to think that banning divorce would somehow save traditional marriage. I feel that some people would rather see a unhealthy and unhappy marriage than to see a couple divorce.

MissJody said...

You can't make people care.
It seems like we make divorce so easy. Maybe if we make it harder-divorce- then people would THINK TWICE before getting married. If you ban divorce then two people who either hate each other or don't like each other are just legally married still...doesn't solve anything. They will still go and do what they want.
But interesting subject.
I wonder what will come of it?

Lori said...

This is crazy! Times like this I am glad that I am Canadian!

Jax said...

No way! Divorce shouldn't be banned. The little lawyer in me is screaming "I hate it when people start trying to take away freedoms!" haha... But, for reals...I know some couples that shouldn't be together..that just made a bad decision...for many reasons.. and have either found happiness elsewhere or have gotten out of an abusive situation or something like that. I would think divorce itself is hard enough...and quite costly emotionally and financially.. Banning it doesn't help anyone and definitely doesn't accomplish the mission that person is trying to achieve. My opinion. *shrugs*

Cory Aidenman said...

"I'm a big opponent of divorce. Why leave the nut you got for one you don't know?"

Those Magic Slippers Will Take You Home said...

I don't think there should be a rule or law whether to ban getting a divorce. The thing is. When you got married and said those vows to your other half and "love of your life" you made a VOW!

Law or no law, If you decide you don't love someone, You lied to not only yourself but to them. Why would you do that to yourself. What kind of person does that make you? If you can't keep a promise to your supposive husband or wife how are you going to keep a promise to your child or to your work. Really what Charactor is that? Not to mention to what it does to your kids if you get divorced. My mom and dad are thankfully still together after 27 years of marriage. but i have seen my friends parents get divorced.

Can someone please explain after 25 years of marriage how you wake up one day and want a divorce? and men, You think younger woman want you? WRONG. They like the money honey. We are in 2009. Get real.

If you arn't absolutley sure that is the person you want to be with, then why get married in the first place? Seriously, honestly though, Why not just stay single and not put kids, your husband or wife through it. Go adopt and be a single parent if you don't really think you can make a promise,a commitment, a VOW to your supposive "soul mate"

Now if one or the other cheats then i think they should jump off a cliff and rot but that's another subject!

There are more divorces in america right now then actual marriages. Isn't that sad?!!?

This is a very touchy subject for me because i have seen SO many of my friends go through this and watching their parents cheat and lie AND then on top of all that the kid gets stuck in the middle.

Really... Just breaks my heart and makes me mad. What is happening to our world? I guess it's going to hell in a hand basket but i won't be a part of that!

A vow is a vow! Keep it! or don't get married until you are so positive that that is your one and you can't live without them. i'm probably going to get hate mail from this one. But it's America and we still have the freedom of speech for the most part.

Michael and Shelley said...

Banning divorce is a bad idea...but I do think that a couple should be required to at least go to counseling for a while before jumping to that conclusion. Oh...and maybe counseling BEFORE marriage would also help decrease the divorce rate!

d.a.r. said...

While I certainly think that our society has come to view marriage less as a sacred institution that ought to last until "death do us part" (more of a "until we are sick of each other"), I think this is a bad idea in the sense that there are truly situations where divorce is warranted.

But, if we got rid of divorces, we could keep annulments....therefore giving the same people who truly need a divorce the opportunity to dissolve their marriage while making it more difficult for people to get "out" of a relationship they aren't willing to work through and perhaps giving some people some pause before they say "I do"...